I wish I only lived at night.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
