i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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