nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
