I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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