oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I would ride that face into the sunset
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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