I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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