He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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