that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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