Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
