I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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