I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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