I wanna bring you to show and tell
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
