Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
