Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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