i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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