i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
