I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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