Your tits are I can't wait for
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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