is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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