what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
