Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
