Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
