Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Holy shit dude........stairs
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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