i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
