nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
