So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
