Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
