Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
