just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
