I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
