My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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