Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
