she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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