C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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