Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize