the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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