just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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