Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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