No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
