Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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