she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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