I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
