dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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