Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
