Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
