He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
