We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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