Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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