I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
