As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Someone shit on the floor
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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