Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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