is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My dick has a subreddit
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
