Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
