last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
