You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize