Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
