I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
