I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
