Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize