I met the friendliest cop last night
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
